The Myth of a Happy Existence

If you look at photos through the decades, you will notice one dramatic change (aside from the quality). This is that of facial expression. For some reason, our facial expressions have been turning U shaped at an alarming rate. Hell, for all we know, soon we will all look like Cher.

Why then is it that we appear to becoming more “happy” in photos, when we have alarming depression and suicide rates. I am not sure of the answer to this, however, I do know that our conventional appearance is not reflecting the bigger picture.

A lot of the population that resides in first world countries are on prescribed anti-depressant medication. I will however refrain from going into my views on anti-depressant medication. Perhaps, as suggested by many scholars (a simple google search will be a sufficient reference) that most of the people on this prescribed form medication need not be on it at all… perhaps we are all simply feeling normal human emotions that have become pathologised.

Back to the smiles. I can see an undeniable pressure to be happy, its everywhere, we have been marketed happiness in every corner of every street. From the milkman to zanax, happiness is all around us. The only thing is, its a face, an act, a point of selling. To make it even more dramatic, this everywhere that we are now seeing is not restricted to the external world, but it exists in the world of social media, we are literally being imprinted with ideals of happiness every minute of every day.

Think about something simple, what we see, is what is considered normal. A simple analogy would be homosexuality, over the decades it is becoming “normalised” as such, purely because we are exposed to it more frequently, the human population feels less discomfort upon witnessing it.

Equation time: Object x Exposure = Increased normality.

Now relate this to the situation at hand,

The object is happiness, with increased exposure, leading to extreme normality. The opposite of normality, is abnormality and discomfort. Perhaps we are literally making simple human-wired feelings of melancholy become abnormal, perhaps we are completely pathologising intrinsic feelings.

 

 

 

The Myth of a Happy Existence

What I learnt from a gap in University

Throughout my University years, two and a half to be exact, I learnt less about life than I have in the past 5 months of absence from my studies.

I feel like a giant reality slap has occurred. Pulled from an educated and guided void that I seemed to be living in, strangely a void of which harboured me from age 5 till 20.

Studying Psychology, I am naturally a thinker. Everything to me has a giant thought process behind it and I can’t change that, it’s who I am. When I was enduring the two and a half years at University, time seemed to simply pass, I would study, pass assignments, study, pass exams, work, go on a vacation and repeat. A life that is normal for the atypical University student. Living at home allowed me to have the luxury of buying nice things and going on holidays in the break, which I wouldn’t change for the world. Some are more sensible and prefer to have life savings behind their belt, I on the other hand am a bit more for the life experience route. Which is also fine, its me at this stage of my life.

The thing is, I constantly thought throughout University what it would be like to live in the working world, the “real world”. Every year I pondered taking a different route, hearing of people who succeed without having to work up debt. I am a dreamer, always have been, and yes I am aware my reality is often spent dreaming of an alternate reality. Going straight to University did no good for my nature as a dreamer.

Rather, it threw me into a false void of security. For the atypical University student, you rarely talk about salaries, rarely overthink whether what you are studying is for an actual job that you want, rarely talk to lecturers, because why do these things. Well, now I see why these things are so important. University straight after school is a money maker. University institutions make a sh** load of money out of privileged individuals who go straight to University after school, why? Because these people are human. There minds will change and their ideal pathway WILL change. Meaning more studies and essentially more money.

University used to be a privilage for those who were intellectually and financially gifted enough to continue learning after school. Now, it appears more of a means to prolong entering reality. I don’t know if this is a good thing or not.

In a first world country filled with options, less concerned with financial outcome, more concerned with image and social approval, it seems we are all rather lost as to what options to take. The thing is, society appears to be progressing to a point where happiness is the ideal. Therefore many of us now spend our 20s searching for this job that will fulfil our daily satisfaction, as apposed to saving for a home or a family. We know these things did’t make our last generation happy, so what do we do in this generation?

Is this search good? I have no idea. What I do know is that once you enter the world from University, whether it be before studies, during, or after, your perspective will change dramatically. I would never change the path I have chose, in no way was I ready to enter life upon completion of School, I was unmotivated, scared and had a lot of learning to do.

I think everyone should be exposed to what I learnt from a cleaner at my London workplace. University is an institution, it cost money and makes money, and most importantly of all, it is a hell of a privilege that provides opportunities to learn, grow, and essentially survive in this over populated world. If you don’t know this. You shouldn’t be there.

 

 

 

What I learnt from a gap in University

Comparison

Today I want to touch on something that has been severely bothering me over this past year.

I have done alot this year, a hell of alot. At the beginning of the year I went on a holiday to two countries, followed by completion of the most challenging semester yet of my degree, then I threw it in for a semester off because I felt the need to see the ‘real world’. That part surely happened, myself and the person at the beginning of the year now appear almost worlds apart in our thoughts.

My travels led me to get a job in London, verge around Europe, fall in love, fall out of love, and realise that I am potentially even more lost than when I started. All in the short span of four months.

Aside from the debt accumulated, of which I now must find a fulltime job to fix, I don’t regret a second of it.

The only thing is, I still find myself comparing myself to others? Is anybody else finding with age, that as the years go on, there is a pressuring presence to compare. Something that I find myself battling with on the daily.

It’s like a battle between choosing to do what I really want, in my authentic self, and comparing my situation to someone else’s. Anyone else’s who is more privileged. People began to notice it aswell, I once got told

“its like you are always trying to catch a feather that is blowing in the wind”

 

This dear friend of mine, who I had only met a week before, knew the crux of my inner strife more than I knew myself.

I am learning more and more each day, that when you compare, you transition into someone filled with envy rather than enjoying the beauty of each moment.

Seeing the world is a gift, but it can certainly change your perspective on life and what you want from this life. One thing is certain, you should never fall into the trap of viewing others lives from outside your own, because you might just feel the nagging urge to step into their shoes. Once you enter someone else’s shoes, your own may just get stolen.

Comparison

Why we don’t stick at things.

Yes I am talking to you lot that don’t stick at one thing, you people that change your mind. You human beings who can’t just knuckle down and become ‘successful’, because, well, we all know success comes from commitment and success. Right?

The reason you don’t just commit to this one hobby and thing that will gain you mass success in life? You’re human, perhaps even beyond human because you realise that life has so many exciting streets and why chose just one street when you can have a town of experience .

Your mind changes and that’s fine.

There is a lot of stigma in life to become one thing, determination is the pathway to succeed in an avenue that is special to you. Right?.

Me, I tend to get hooked on one thing and then fail at it a little while along. I’m not sure why exactly, perhaps I just don’t like commitment, perhaps i’m searching for that all purposeful life enhancing mission to drop from the sky.

Either way it doesn’t matter.

Your pathway is not determined by the thoughts of other people, their opinion, societies opinion, even a crickets opinion of success should not determine where your mind is taking you and the pathway that your brain is leading you on.

Sure, motivation is healthy and a balance of motivation and persistence is a requirement to survive. However, you should never let that stop you trying different things throughout your life and testing new waters.

It’s better to be a Jack of All Trades than a master of… one…

Why we don’t stick at things.